Interpreting independence and me

Interpreting independence and me

Most people who know me will vouch for the fact that I’m a chicken inside and outside, actually on the outside I’m a very skinny chicken, not the type that you’d pick in a poultry shop. It just so happened that today I happened to be wondering why this is so and I came to the conclusion that, maybe just, I’m all girly inside. But aren’t we all, after all, we’re all born female (too many “alls” in that sentence). Is masculinity just a cloak beneath which men hide their feelings? And who said boys never cry? Crying is a basic human emotion and why should men be expected to bottle up their feelings inside? I’d say cry if you want to even if you’re a man. It’s far better to cry on the outside than on the inside.

I’ve always found myself wondering what it’s like for a girl, in this world (Madonna)? What is it really?

On one side I find myself calling the world very sexist and being inherently prejudiced against men. Why? I’ll tell you. Men are supposed to go out and earn their own living and stand on their own two feet, no sympathy is shown to the house husband. There’s something wrong with a man changing diapers and depending on his woman for his financial needs while a woman at home is how it’s supposed to be. How many teenage boys can ask their parents for things like clothes and, well “toys” and actually see the deal through? Contrast that with the staggering number of similarly aged young women who actually do that?

And on the flip side you see rape and other such crimes against women all over the place. Even in the villages, women are brutally suppressed and their voices are gagged to prevent them from being heard. Even with men, there are double standards, you see many worshipping their mothers and sisters, vowing to protect them from all harm, and yet the very same men go out into the streets and letch at the first P.Y.T that they see. Even music seems to have a prejudice against women. How many female guitarists do you know? And why are so many songs dedicated to the women in the songwriter’s life and nothing to men? Am I just deaf and blind or what?

A woman can use the “pleading eyes” look on anyone except other women and get away with murder but how many women will actually go weak in the knees and bend to a guy who happens to be endowed with good looks? Men are expected to be tough by default and anyone who happens to defy the stereotype is frowned upon and seen as an outcast, someone who’s good for nothing. But women who are almost like men (barring eunuchs) are treated, well like women.

On Sunday, I happened to read a very thought provoking article in the Times about how chivalry is not dead and how women still appreciate small gestures like doors being held open. Well this is supposed to be the age of gender equality right? Women on par with men? Whatever happened to all that? Or are women just into getting the best of both worlds, equality and empathy? I’d appreciate if some woman could answer that, some woman actually.

Now coming back to me, I’d say I’ve always had a soft corner for women and their issues. Sometimes I wonder when you’re a man, the whole world is your urinal but if you’re a woman, well you know, I need not get into the gory details. I used to and still do read women’s magazines , not the types that glorify women as sex objects but the ones that deal with their issues in a sensitive manner, for instance Me that goes out with the Sunday issue of DNA. It’s generally believed that women are more contemplative and calculated in their thought process and decision making, well I’m contemplative but not very calculated. Does that make me girly and weak? Now why this association of women being weak? I know a number of women, old and young who are by no means weak but on the contrary are headstrong, assertive and independent.

Is offering your seat in a bus to a woman really warranted? Don’t men work as long as women? Don’t they tire as well? Are we all not human beings longing for some respite after a hard day’s work? Is it being a gentleman really a mark of class?

Another of my pet peeves has to be how society at large expects you (men at least) to maintain a certain decorum whilst in the company of the fairer sex. What I mean is that your words have to be measured and all gentlemanly, no eff’s and bee’s within earshot of a woman. And no backslapping and getting all pally with a woman, they respect their personal space, well so do I. And if you behave in such a controlled manner most of the time, there is going to be a situation and occasion when you’ll eventually have to explode and let go. It’s not that I don’t behave myself in front of a woman but it’s just that I find it hard to do it, most of the time. And it’s pretty obvious when a guy talks to a woman’s chest and not her face, well there are people with brains out there too.

Just as and endnote, how come we’ve got Spiderman, batman and superman, not to mention He-man but just a handful of female superheroes, cat woman for instance? And how do you expect these women to go about their business of saving the world in their underwear? Gees girls, put on some clothes if you really want to restore order to the world.

Disclaimer

This article has not been written because I’m in love or something emotional like that. When I fall in love I’ll let you know. This is just meant to break new ground in my writing and to break the monotony of writing about myself and the people around me, the true test of a writer is to pen what affects society at large and not just himself and his little world, that’s easy.(see the “his” there. That’s sexist again!). And if you happen to be a woman reading this, this is not meant to be an analytical deconstruction of the female species; I’m not very good at that, thank you.

And girls, come one, leave little fishy here a comment or two, pretty please?

Here are lyrics to ponder over:

Im not a girl, not yet a woman-Britney Spears I used to think I had the answers to everything Mm but now I know That life doesnt always go my way. yeah Feels like Im caught in the middle Thats when I realize Im not a girl Not yet a woman All I need is time A moment that is mine While Im in between Im not a girl There is no need to protect me Its time that i Learned to face up to this on my own Ive seen so much more than you know now So dont tell me to shut my eyes Im not a girl Not yet a woman All I need is time A moment that is mine While Im in between Im not a girl But if you look at me closely You will see it in my eyes This girl will always find her way Im not a girl Im not a girl dont tell me what to believe Not yet a woman Im just tryin to find the woman in me, yeah All I need is time Whoa, all I need is time... A moment that is mine ... thats mine While Im in between Im not a girl Not yet a woman Not now All I need is time A moment that is mine While Im in between Im not a girl Ooooh, not yet a woman