What's in today's papers

In today’s Sunday times I happened to chance upon an article elucidating why international pop and rock acts don’t attract large crowds in Bombay anymore. One Vishal Dadlani who’s the singer and composer for our desi act Pentagram claimed that bands like Iron Maiden and Roger Waters who fail to attract audiences abroad land up on our shores almost like flotsam and draw crowds because our audiences are still stuck in the past. Well Mr. Dadlani, if Iron Maiden goes into that category for you then you’re unceremoniously kicked out of my favorite musicians list pronto. Period.

Who wants to listen to the same hook or riff like a million times in your retarded songs anyway? I’ve heard Voice and Electric by Pentagram and personally I wasn’t too impressed by either but the fact that Pentagram were a desi act drew me to them. Your song construction is repetitive and boring to say the least. No good song consists of once catchy bar played over and over to fill the entire length of the song. Heck even your lyrics are repetitive, all you do is basically say the same thing over and over again like it’s some sort of mystic chant or something.

Maybe that’s why Pentagram are not too big on the international stage yet and maybe that’s why they’ll never be. At least now I hope they never make it any bigger.

If you can say such utter rubbish about a band the size of Iron Maiden, who’ve sold millions of albums compared to your few thousands, well you suck. Big time. Desi rock is getting bigger by the day and I relly hope that some people who respect the dinosaurs of heavy metal make it big internationally. Not you guys. Period

Peace

Interpreting independence and me

Interpreting independence and me

Most people who know me will vouch for the fact that I’m a chicken inside and outside, actually on the outside I’m a very skinny chicken, not the type that you’d pick in a poultry shop. It just so happened that today I happened to be wondering why this is so and I came to the conclusion that, maybe just, I’m all girly inside. But aren’t we all, after all, we’re all born female (too many “alls” in that sentence). Is masculinity just a cloak beneath which men hide their feelings? And who said boys never cry? Crying is a basic human emotion and why should men be expected to bottle up their feelings inside? I’d say cry if you want to even if you’re a man. It’s far better to cry on the outside than on the inside.

I’ve always found myself wondering what it’s like for a girl, in this world (Madonna)? What is it really?

On one side I find myself calling the world very sexist and being inherently prejudiced against men. Why? I’ll tell you. Men are supposed to go out and earn their own living and stand on their own two feet, no sympathy is shown to the house husband. There’s something wrong with a man changing diapers and depending on his woman for his financial needs while a woman at home is how it’s supposed to be. How many teenage boys can ask their parents for things like clothes and, well “toys” and actually see the deal through? Contrast that with the staggering number of similarly aged young women who actually do that?

And on the flip side you see rape and other such crimes against women all over the place. Even in the villages, women are brutally suppressed and their voices are gagged to prevent them from being heard. Even with men, there are double standards, you see many worshipping their mothers and sisters, vowing to protect them from all harm, and yet the very same men go out into the streets and letch at the first P.Y.T that they see. Even music seems to have a prejudice against women. How many female guitarists do you know? And why are so many songs dedicated to the women in the songwriter’s life and nothing to men? Am I just deaf and blind or what?

A woman can use the “pleading eyes” look on anyone except other women and get away with murder but how many women will actually go weak in the knees and bend to a guy who happens to be endowed with good looks? Men are expected to be tough by default and anyone who happens to defy the stereotype is frowned upon and seen as an outcast, someone who’s good for nothing. But women who are almost like men (barring eunuchs) are treated, well like women.

On Sunday, I happened to read a very thought provoking article in the Times about how chivalry is not dead and how women still appreciate small gestures like doors being held open. Well this is supposed to be the age of gender equality right? Women on par with men? Whatever happened to all that? Or are women just into getting the best of both worlds, equality and empathy? I’d appreciate if some woman could answer that, some woman actually.

Now coming back to me, I’d say I’ve always had a soft corner for women and their issues. Sometimes I wonder when you’re a man, the whole world is your urinal but if you’re a woman, well you know, I need not get into the gory details. I used to and still do read women’s magazines , not the types that glorify women as sex objects but the ones that deal with their issues in a sensitive manner, for instance Me that goes out with the Sunday issue of DNA. It’s generally believed that women are more contemplative and calculated in their thought process and decision making, well I’m contemplative but not very calculated. Does that make me girly and weak? Now why this association of women being weak? I know a number of women, old and young who are by no means weak but on the contrary are headstrong, assertive and independent.

Is offering your seat in a bus to a woman really warranted? Don’t men work as long as women? Don’t they tire as well? Are we all not human beings longing for some respite after a hard day’s work? Is it being a gentleman really a mark of class?

Another of my pet peeves has to be how society at large expects you (men at least) to maintain a certain decorum whilst in the company of the fairer sex. What I mean is that your words have to be measured and all gentlemanly, no eff’s and bee’s within earshot of a woman. And no backslapping and getting all pally with a woman, they respect their personal space, well so do I. And if you behave in such a controlled manner most of the time, there is going to be a situation and occasion when you’ll eventually have to explode and let go. It’s not that I don’t behave myself in front of a woman but it’s just that I find it hard to do it, most of the time. And it’s pretty obvious when a guy talks to a woman’s chest and not her face, well there are people with brains out there too.

Just as and endnote, how come we’ve got Spiderman, batman and superman, not to mention He-man but just a handful of female superheroes, cat woman for instance? And how do you expect these women to go about their business of saving the world in their underwear? Gees girls, put on some clothes if you really want to restore order to the world.

Disclaimer

This article has not been written because I’m in love or something emotional like that. When I fall in love I’ll let you know. This is just meant to break new ground in my writing and to break the monotony of writing about myself and the people around me, the true test of a writer is to pen what affects society at large and not just himself and his little world, that’s easy.(see the “his” there. That’s sexist again!). And if you happen to be a woman reading this, this is not meant to be an analytical deconstruction of the female species; I’m not very good at that, thank you.

And girls, come one, leave little fishy here a comment or two, pretty please?

Here are lyrics to ponder over:

Im not a girl, not yet a woman-Britney Spears I used to think I had the answers to everything Mm but now I know That life doesnt always go my way. yeah Feels like Im caught in the middle Thats when I realize Im not a girl Not yet a woman All I need is time A moment that is mine While Im in between Im not a girl There is no need to protect me Its time that i Learned to face up to this on my own Ive seen so much more than you know now So dont tell me to shut my eyes Im not a girl Not yet a woman All I need is time A moment that is mine While Im in between Im not a girl But if you look at me closely You will see it in my eyes This girl will always find her way Im not a girl Im not a girl dont tell me what to believe Not yet a woman Im just tryin to find the woman in me, yeah All I need is time Whoa, all I need is time... A moment that is mine ... thats mine While Im in between Im not a girl Not yet a woman Not now All I need is time A moment that is mine While Im in between Im not a girl Ooooh, not yet a woman

Say sorry to my alter ego

Now I’ll go back to doing what I do best, chronicling the life and times of none other than, me. Egoistic self centered pig you call him. Looks even more like a geek now with his dumb braces and even dumber eye wear. Well eldrich never cared much for your opinion anyway, so you can keep it for yourself and let it die somewhere. Turn around and look down, now there’s a good place to start. Nice how much fun you can have referring to yourself in the third person, eh?

Now back to the more conventional Queens English. Today was my twentieth birthday so that’s twenty years of depleting the world’s oxygen supply and giving nothing but hogwash back. That’s me, d-oh. Uh huh, I like typing out gobbledygook and meaningless expressions that make little sense in the written context but are very effective when spoken. Today by some miracle of god, I awoke, half asleep, moved towards that infernal ringing phone, quietened it, tucked it under my pillow and put it, and myself back to sleep all at ten past five in the morning. Then my alter ego awoke and deemed that more sleep would be detrimental to the day and so I had no option but to rise from the bed and away to the first mass of the day it was.

Enough of the boring details already (I picked that up from someone, eh!). Now the juicy bits, I fixed my self some breakfast and had to trudge through a couple of sandwiches with some fromage, actually a lot of fromage. Just look at the cheek of that moron, including French words at will when half of his readers won’t understand it. He’s a moron right? A moron with typical moron glasses who talks rubbish and writes such long sentences that no one but his regular readers can understand. Well eldrich still does not give a damn about what either you or his alter ego think about him. He’s happy doing what he wants. Eldrich likes metal and no one is going to tell him to stop listening to it.

Just like that moron again, randomly changing topics when you just got interested in something finally. Dumb blog this, don’t wanna read this. Just hop on to something more interesting and readable will you? Can’t believe that you actually read that and now you’re reading this! What sort of a moron are you anyway? And you call that guy a moron? Well smarty-pants, seems likes the joke’s on you now. Ha ha ha, and eldrich has had the last laugh yet again.

No one will tell eldrich to cut his hair or that it looks like it’s coming out of his ears. No one tells me that, no one. You want me to cut my hair, tell eldrich’s alter ego in a more dignified manner, like you would approach the topic while conveying it to a lady, yes eldrich like sensitive handling of issues. And he’s not as convoluted as you make him out to be, he just likes penguins. It’s a different world out there peepuls.

And today I happened to conceal the fact that I was officially a year older from someone, someone whose knowledge of this fact I deemed unacceptable. Like all decisions that I take in haste, I’ve come to regret this too. I don’t know but I’ve come to dislike this person quite a bit labeling him/her and ass licker. What he (eldrich) meant by that was that this person likes to suck up to the teachers and those in authority and once even betrayed one of our own (or so eldrich thinks he has heard). I don’t like Judases anymore than anyone else and hence I tread with caution here. (Notice the dumb switching between the third and first person here, eldrico is dumb indeed). Also eldrich just happens to hate those who claim to have a lot of cash at their disposal, a deep guttural hate that stems from the darkest corners of eldrico’s mind, where no one has been and no one will eve go and live to tell the tale. Not that they’ll even understand it, morons (see, now eldrich is obsessed with a new word, bird brain). The beautiful people he’s christened them, it all depends on the size of your steeple huh? Don’t read further, you’ll kill the poor loser with guilt.

Peace folks, till I can think straight and pen something more coherent and readable.

Peace again.

Alter ego signing out.

End of transmission.

Sending all human specimens back to earth, shipment rejected.

P.S To avoid multiple posts, I’ll add a couple of pictures here that I took from the train today, on my way back from college. In one of them you can see a little black crow perched upon the railway power lines. Now from what Mr. .K has told me, you’d be dead if you came in contact with a DC line. Well if that’s true, what saved the crow from the prophesized death? I know for a fact that the little critter didn’t die because I saw him fly away quite content, into the azure sky, unburdened by the physics of what he’d just done.

The Introduction

Taking a cue from BR man I too have decided to share my knowledge concerning music and its appreciation and in particular playing the piano. Through my short life thus far I’ve encountered numerous instruments none of which I’ve mastered to a mentionable degree with the exception of the piano.

Among other instruments that I’ve dabbled with, notable ones include the bugle, the trumpet, the bagpipe and the flute, yes the good old Indian flute. Most of these instruments have a limited musical range with respect to the notes that they can produce. Here’s a little bit about each-

The trumpet is the one thing that comes to mind when you thing British Bands and stuff like marching bands. It’s generally used and perceived as a “happy” instrument due to the high pitched nature of its tone. As with most lung powered instruments the amplitude or loudness it produces depends on the player. On your average trumpet 12 noted that is half the chromatic scale is possible. A trumpet works on the principle of the resonance and sanding waves produced by the oscillations of air in a column of varying length. The variation of length is the means of getting different notes out of the instrument.

The bugle is rather like a trumpet where the air column has a fixed length in which to vibrate. The notes that are produced by a bugle are rather discreet and hard to distinguish as it is player dependent. What you do with a bugle is essentially pinch your lips together and blow the blowing causing oscillations which are amplified in the tube of the bugle. This amplification is rather useful and is used in places where the sound is required to travel a great distance. The tone of a bugle is distinctive and can be very irritating especially when you’re asleep. That’s why it’s used to wake people up.

The bagpipe is a Scottish wind-reed instrument that can produce seven notes. It works on a principle similar to that of a trumpet except that here the variations in vibrating length are produced by closing or opening holes on what is called a “chanter” by some. This same principle is employed in a flute with the difference being that a bagpipe produces a continuous note even when you stop blowing unlike a flute. The name “bag” derives from the fact that there’s an air filled bag which plugs into a number of holes, 5 to be exact. Three holes are connected to drone pipes which produce a continuous droning sound. The “drone” note can be varied by inverting or plugging out one or all of the drone pipes. It is possible to play the instrument with all the drones off. The fourth pipe serves as an input through which air is blown into the bag which inflates and drives a narrow stream of air into the stick like part that’s held in the hand. This has holes which can be “played” to produce different sounds. The three drone pipes are mounted across the left shoulder with the stick in the two hands.

The piano is a commonly used western musical instrument that’s normally played two handed. A normal piano (not an electronic keyboard) will have 8 octaves and be something like 2 meters in length. The sound of a piano is produced by hammers that strike strings which are under tension. It is possible to produce different notes by varying the tension in the strings. The hammers respond to the key presses, by the way.

The word octave that I used in the previous paragraph refers to a full set of notes or physically a set of seven white keys and five black keys. If you look closely at the layout of a keyboard you’ll see a regular pattern of keys repeated. Actually it’s repeated eight times forming the eight octaves.

The set starts with the two black keys and the three white keys on either side of them and the one in between. It continues to include the next 3 black keys and the four that surround then. The black keys are a level higher than the white keys in accordance with the fact that they denote sharps or flats (something I’ll come to later). Most performance pianos are called grand pianos though some time ago that was used to refer strictly to pianos that had horizontally mounted strings( most living room ones have the strings vertical to save space). The average grand piano though strictly manually operated can be found in electric varieties that reduce the stress on your fingers when you play. Let me tell you that from experience playing an electric one is a lot easier on your fingers compared to a manual one which you literally have to beat to hear.

About an electronic keyboard (it’s called by THAT name, please don’t call it a Casio, they make stupid keyboards) –

It’s just a slice of the actual piano that’s electronically driven and produces sound through speakers (in most cases). It’s a fairly good place to start and one of the most commonly used ones. For beginners a standard Casio model will suffice heck even I still have my first five octave Casio keyboard though I’ve now moved up to a Korg.

Other piano types exist like the ones used in churches called the reed or pipe organ. This is very similar in appearance to a regular piano but differs in the way the sound is produced.

That’s enough of a started. More later when I’ll dispense knowledge on playing scales and reading sheet music.

The Chromatic Scale

The chromatic scale is the scale that contains all twelve pitches of the Western tempered scale.

All the other scales in traditional Western music are subsets of this scale. Each pitch is separated from its upper and lower neighbors by the interval of one half step, or semitone. In tonal and other music this scale finds little use outside of decorative runs up or down as it has no harmonic direction and is considered cliched. The term 'chromatic' is understood by musicians to refer to music which includes tones which are not members of the prevailing scale, and also as a word descriptive of those individually non-diatonic tones.